Can We Leave Susan Boyle Alone Now?

First task of the day: get people to stop using the word "dowdy" to refer to anyone less polished than Beyonce.
When I see someone refer to Oprah as "dowdy," I know things have gotten way outta hand. And the term really doesn't apply to Susan Boyle either, the uni-browed singing phenom on "Britain's Got Talent." The word connotes not just unpolished or a bad dresser but someone who is a bit of a shy bird, lacking in confidence as well as tweezers. And there is no way to call a woman willing to stand in front of Simon Cowell in a grocery-bag-shaped dress and belt out a song from Les Miserables a "shy bird."

Second task of the day: stop thinking that anyone who is talented and gets rewarded for that talent should look like Beyonce. Have you ever seen Fanny Brice? I mean, the real Fanny Brice, not the one played by the supposedly "homely" Barbara Streisand. (If not, that's her in the photo. On the right, honey, on the right.) Fanny Brice was truly not a pretty woman, with her big features and angular body. Yet she was a powerhouse as a singer and a comedienne, as evidenced by her getting Ziegfeld to look at or listen to her twice, given his "I only have eyes for boobs" predilections. And getting back to Oprah--excuse me, what would you call dowdy about her, exactly, except that she goes up and down in weight. I've seen Michelle Obama look "dowdier" than O.

And, yes, there is a third task of the day: Quit ripping on Susan Boyle because she had a "makeover." Rather than assuming that she was forced into changing her look by the media, maybe she saw her celebrity as an opportunity to make changes in her style that she had been wanting to make. No one was going to give her advice, help and financial assistance to get trimmed, plucked and put in a new outfit before she wowed the audience with her voice. I saw the before and after photos. And she looked pretty damn comfortable in her own skin in the "after." Like she was saying, "Screw you. Now who's dowdy." If we want to be ticked about a "makeover," let's direct our ire toward the pageant officials for Miss USA, who paid for Miss California's "figure enhancements"--i.e. breast implants--because they wanted her to feel "confident" on stage. If she wasn't confident enough in her body to be on that stage, why did she run for Miss California to begin with. And, oh, pageant dudes? I really don't think I can feel my most confident unless I'm wearing an 8-carat diamond ring and matching diamond chandelier earrings from Harry Winston. Pony up.

Talent isn't beauty; beauty isn't talent. I think that's inscribed on an urn somewhere. Or should be. I'm never going to look like Beyonce, but I'm not giving up my tweezers. You?