Or: How I Spontaneously Combusted Trying to Save My HairA little backstory: I eat a healthier diet than I want to, lots of fruits and veggies, very little meat, far less chocolate than would fulfill my desires (we'll skip the mention of martinis here); I exercise, not religiously, but enough that my weight, my body fat percent, my BMI all fall into the "healthy" range; I have even started doing "mindful exercise" (previously known by simpler names like 'yoga'). So, naturally, I have high cholesterol and am pre-diabetic. Damn genes.
Since I can't take the usual routes of eating better and losing 10% of my weight (been there, done anorexia, no more), I've been put on fish oil capsules--mmm, nummy--and Niaspan, which is just a kickass dose of time-release Vitamin B3.
I was warned, not just by my doctor, but by everyone who wanted to put their 3 cents in, that the most common side effect of big doses of Niacin was "flushing," red, hot, itchy, tingly skin--kind of like hot flashes without the sweat. To avoid this, you take it at night before bed on the theory that you'll sleep through the flushing. Oh right, did I ever sleep through hot flashes and night sweats?
Seven days in, no problem. No flushing--or maybe I was really sleeping through it; what was the big deal anyway? So you get a little red? How bad is that? You just know there's a critical turning point coming up here, don't you?
Tuesday morning, 7am, long after my nightly dose, my face started feeling hot, then hotter, then my neck, my chest, my arms. I started to itch and tingle. My husband was just getting up for work and in the dim light could only tell that I was writhing around, making puppy whimper noises--his cue to hit the shower as fast as possible. I walked into the bathroom, turned on the light and--OMG&MJT (you have to be a fan of 'Family Guy' to get this)--I was bright maraschino cherry red all the way to my fingertips. Calmly (yeah right) I strolled into his bathroom and said bravely (yeah, right): "I think I'm having a reaction." Peeking around his shower curtain: "Wow, you really are; you look kind of good like that; maybe you should go to a tanning salon." Hey, I'm about to incinerate, here, buddy!
An hour or so later after returning to my usual pale ecru, I wondered "Why now?" And because it was so close to Passover "What made last night different from all other nights?" My Sherlockian nature took hold. I had done one different thing. I have a "follicle stimulator" (euphemism for "this won't really do anything but you'll feel like you're doing something to stop going bald") that is supposed to be put on the scalp and left on overnight. Since I usually fall into bed too tired to do more than take off my mascara, I had only been using it in the mornings and leaving it on for a half hour or so. But that Monday, I put it on a bedtime and left it on.
And its secret formula? Niaplex. Starting to see a connection? Niaspan? Niaplex? Yup. I OD'd on B3. Enough of the hair goo must have seeped into my blood stream by morning to set off the side effect I had avoided so far. And I now understood why 8% of people who take Niaspan stop because of that one side effect.
I'm just glad I'm past hot flashes. The combination--well, just call me "Jo's Grill."
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